Mocking millennials has become a sport and a pastime. You’ve heard most of the complaints: about the trophies for showing up, the Instagramming of tedium, the use of Venmo to buy street drugs.
They ruined lunch, motorcycles and marriage. They gave us selfies at funerals and placenta pix from the delivery room. As they move into the dominant demographic position in American life, they’ve made doorbells obsolete (better to text), vacations passé (too busy) and face-to-face conversations a lost art (see doorbells).
They prefer liquid soap to a simple bar. They’re killing the Post Office, phasing out breakfast cereal, dashing dinner dates. Ditto mayonnaise; in the era of identity condiments, it’s too bland. They’re the Lamest Generation.
And worst of all, they don’t vote.
The Washington Post blamed millennials for the 2016 election result, even though they made up just 25 percent of the electorate. Yes, Donald Trump — the most self-absorbed, television-fixated, crybaby boomer of them all — is the fault of young people because not enough of them got off their phones and cast a ballot for someone else.
